


YOU'VE CAT TO BE KITTEN ME

by AgnesClementine



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Dark Angel (TV)
Genre: Alec McDowell is so done, But don't tell anyone, Cat Puns, F/F, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Leonard Snart Comes Back, M/M, Mick Rory is a Softie, Self-Indulgent, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-05 17:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16814962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgnesClementine/pseuds/AgnesClementine
Summary: He comes face to, err, boot with a brick wall of a human. The guy is tall, rough around the edges and gives off the rebel vibe right away. He sets Alec’s teet-canines on edge, but only until he speaks.He blinks at Alec and says, “Hi, buddy. Where did you come from?”“Outside,” Alec tries to sass and wants to punch something when it comes out as a meow.The guy- thankfully- doesn’t coo, but he does reach down and, to Alec’s horror, scratches his head.He takes it back- being a cat is going to suck.*******************************************************************************The knowledge of Dark Angel is not really necessary (there are gonna be notes in each chapter to explain the important things). This is totally self- indulgent. I've got nothing else to say about this.





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so. For those not familiar with Dark Angel, it's a show from 2001 that follows a girl Max who is a genetically enhanced ex-soldier (she escaped from the facility called Manticore where she was "made" when she was 9). Basically, at the end of season 1 she gets caught and meets Alec in Manticore facility where they imprison her. But, she's not in the story. 
> 
> Alec is also a genetically enhanced soldier (meaning he has a bit of cat DNA in his genes) and let's just say, a bit of a smartass (thus his name- Smart *Aleck*). And I love him.
> 
> The series is set in 2020 in a world that has been hit by a magnetic pulse in 2009, so North America is kinda messed up. But the story is mostly centered on Waverider and other time periods, so it's only gonna be mentioned by Alec A few times.
> 
> Also, I don't know how I thought of this, but I did and ta-da. 
> 
> Let me know how weird this is and enjoy! :D

Alec doesn't know how it happens. Or why it happens. But one moment he's getting his hands on one of the diamonds in one of the last of the Seattle museums, and the other everything starts spinning, his vision gets dark, and then he gets tangled in his own damn clothes because suddenly he's not bipedal anymore.

He blinks the fuzziness out of his eyes, tries to groan- and meows instead. Which, wait, what the fuck? That's wrong, and everything else is wrong, too big and too tall- or is he just too low on the ground? He crawls out of the collar of his shirt and the lack of fabric restricting his movement is immediately a relief. It promptly makes him realize he's exactly the size of his boots. And he's got a tail. They definitely haven't prepared them for this in Unexpected situations 101.

At least his balance seems to be in order, he thinks, making a few steps in his... newly acquired state. He thinks he's in shock because the „ _Oh, hey, at least I'm not tripping over my paws!_ “ is not a proper reaction to getting turned into a cat.

He hears footsteps coming his way and trots further away from the pile of his clothes and takes in the smell of gasoline, ink and fabric softener.

Looks like his senses stayed sharp as well. Sweet. Hm, he did have quite a bit of cat DNA before this; maybe it won’t be so different from having opposable thumbs. Or thumbs at all. Do cats have thumbs?

He comes face to, err _, boot_ with a brick wall of a human. The guy is tall, rough around the edges and gives off the rebel vibe right away. He sets Alec’s teet-canines on edge, but only until he speaks.

He blinks at Alec and says, “Hi, buddy. Where did you come from?”

“Outside,” Alec tries to sass and wants to punch something when it comes out as a meow.

The guy- thankfully- doesn’t coo, but he does reach down and, to Alec’s horror, scratches his head.

He takes it back- being a cat is going to suck.

He makes a noise of protest. Though whatever happened to him obviously turned him into a kitten and the noise doesn’t translate as threatening as he’d like. Damnit.

The guy then scoops him up in his hand- if Alec turns back in his hand things are gonna get very awkward- and holds him to his chest. And fine, he _is_ pretty warm so Alec can’t be blamed for allowing a bit of petting while he warms up. He hears sounds of a scuffle in another room, but that’s not important right now.

“The hell is that?” The guy rumbles and bends down once more- Alec expects him to set him down again, but he just takes the diamond Alec dropped during his… metamorphosis. He straightens- and nothing happens.

“Huh,” he says, inspecting the gem in his gloved hand, “nice.”

He pockets it and Alec swears he’s gonna murder someone and then fling himself into space.

But when he thinks about it, this is exactly the shitty kind of luck he has.

“Mick!” someone hollers and Alec winces because, yeah, he definitely still has his super hearing.

Mick grunts, makes a half step forward then casts conflicted eyes on Alec. Alec doesn’t like that look.

“This is a bad idea.” He says to himself. “Sorry, buddy, this is just until I can get you somewhere safe.”

“What?” Alec meows- and finds himself in a pocket of “Mick’s” big jacket. Oh, no. Hell, no. He’s a cat and he’s theoretically and literally naked and he’s in some guy’s pocket. Why do these things always happen to him?

The inside of the jacket smells even more like gasoline, and Alec gets a bit dizzy in there. Especially because he can’t see shit from the inside.

He hears more voices, four female, and three male- one British-, though one of the females seems to be from the opposing party if the hostility in her tone is anything to go by.

He, a supposed genius, remembers cats have claws and manages to climb up the pocket just in time to see the guy in a trench coat blabbering on in a language Alec can’t really identify- _he thinks it’s Latin?_ \- while two women- a blonde and a dark-skinned one- hold the redhead that’s spitting some impressive insults at them. There’s a ring of yellow-orange light in the air, and it sucks in the redhead as Brit’s chanting grows louder and more insistent- and then it disappears.

Having seen enough of weirdness to last him a few years, Alec sinks back into the pocket and wonders what the hell he just got himself into.

  * ●●●●



He tried to be quiet, he really did, but the confined space of Mick’s jacket pocket is not his favorite place to be in. Soon after the vortex thingy sucked in the redhead, another woman instructed everyone to get back to the ship. Which is a strange choice of words and if disappearing light rings and chanting (and the fact he’s a cat) weren’t his clue that something weird is going on, that definitely should have been.

The crisp, polluted night air of Seattle indicates that they’re outside and not even ten minutes later, it gets replaced by warm, fresh air that Alec doesn’t remember breathing in since the Pulse happened.

He crawls up the pocket once again, has a chance to catch a glimpse of shiny, metallic walls- and then Mick takes a sharp turn to the left and Alec, startled and losing his balance, yelps.

Everything is silent, unmoving, for a beat. Alec’s heart jumps in his chest because he doesn’t know these people and he doesn’t know what they’ll do to him now that his presence is known.

“What was that?” Somebody asks. Looks like Mick got _cat_ red-handed.

Mick, instead of staying quiet, grunts, “Nothing.”

_Way to stay inconspicuous_ , Alec thinks and fights the urge to facepalm himself.

“Mick,” a woman- the one that gives out the orders, so she must be the CO- starts, “what did you do?”

Mick grumbles, “Why the hell do you assume it’s me?”

There’s a moment of silence, then Mick grumbles again and Alec is suddenly out of the pocket again.

Well, the cat is definitely out of the bag now. Or the pocket, more precisely.

A girl with long, dark hair points at him in astonishment. “A cat!” She says.

“Don’t you say.” Alec meows.

There are various _aw_ noises that Alec absolutely does not appreciate.

“You took a cat from there? Where did you even find it?” The blonde, CO, asks with her arms crossed.

Mick grunts, “Museum,” he says with a shrug.

Being mostly eye level with everyone is nice, but Alec is getting a bit irritated with the whole holding thing. He wriggles, trying to get across he wants some solid ground under his feet. _Paws. Whatever_.

Mick simply shifts him so he’s standing on his forearm. Well, guess that’s the best he’ll get for now.

“A museum?” CO asks doubtfully.

“Yep.” Mick confirms.

Hm, Alec wonders how bad would it be if he just _… jumped_ down. He’s pretty sure cats can sort themselves out.

“What kind of cat is it anyway? Look at its ears.” The dark haired girl says.

Alec bristles at ‘ _it_ ’ because he’s not a thing. And what’s wrong with his ears?

“Aye, they are big for its head.” The dark skinned woman says. She’s also British.

The blond Brit observes him suspiciously. Can he tell Alec is not a real cat?

He points at Alec, “You know,” he tells the others, “it might be the witch’s familiar.”

_The who’s what?_

“Hm?” Mick grunts questioningly. Others’ expressions convey much the same reaction.

The Brit looks at them. “What? You never heard of witches keeping magical companions?”

If Alec’s magical, then turtles have feathers. Or however that goes.

“No,” Mick says curtly and starts to leave.

“Wait,” CO says, “John might be right. We have to check what it is.”

_Argh, not an ‘it’_.

Also, _check_? If they get some needles near him, he’s gonna bite someone.

And he’s getting hungry. He knew he should have eaten before heading out.

“Can we do that after I feed it?”

If he ignores the ‘it’, Mick is great.

Alec uses his charm and turns pleading eyes at the rest of the group.

CO sighs, “Fine. Feed it and then meet us at Med Bay.”

  * ●●●●



Mick feeds him an honest to God ham sandwich and Alec gropes him into giving him a bowl of milk after a bit of meowing and whining.

“If you get sick, it ain’t gonna be my fault. Just so you know.” He grumbles.

Alec would like to point out to him that he’s talking to a cat, but he’s the mentioned cat and he’s drinking milk from a bowl so he thinks he’s not really in a _pawsition_ to say anything.

  * ●●●●



Stomachs full (Mick took the opportunity to eat a sandwich as well), they make their way to the Med Bay.

The hallways- and the whole inside of this, this _whatever it is_ (Alec is a cat at the moment, alright? He’s gonna need a bit of time to figure everything out)- are all smooth silver and futuristic lines that Alec saw advertised in old magazines and TV specials before the Pulse fucked everything up.

The Med Bay is… cramped. There are two bed like pieces of furniture (heh, _fur_ -niture), monitors on the wall behind them and the whole group is there already waiting for them.

Mick sets him on one of the beds and ray of light scans over him. It signals the scan is done with a beep.

“Scanning is complete,” a female voice announces. Oh, an AI. Cool.

Alec suddenly wonders if the scan will show his genetic make-up. Or maybe it changed when he changed. Ugh, he should have stayed in bed today.

“Gideon, can you tell us the species, time period and specifications?” CO asks.

“Certainly, Captain Lance. According to physical markings, it appears to be a male serval cub from 2020, Earth- 13.” Gideon says.

_Earth- 13?_

“Genetic code is unidentifiable,” Gideon adds.

Uh-oh.

Everyone looks at him.

“It might be because he’s from another Earth.” The tall guy chirps.

“Innit a serval a wild cat?” John, the Brit, asks.

“Yes,” Gideon confirms, “although people are known to keep them as pets.”

If they try to put a collar on him, it’s not gonna end nicely.

“So, are we keeping him?” The dark haired girl asks.

At least they dropped the ‘it’.

“I’m keeping him,” Mick says firmly.

Captain Lance raises her eyebrow at him.

He shrugs, “I found him, so he’s mine,” he says simply.

If he keeps feeding him, Alec is in.

He meows in approval. (Might as well go along with it for now.)

Captain Lance purses her lips and then sighs, “Check him for fleas and make sure he behaves.”

_Fleas?!_ Alec has never in his 18- ish years of life- _how dare she?_

“Gideon, plot a course for Star City, 2018.” Captain Lance says and leaves.

Mick picks him up again, but Alec is too deep in plotting his revenge to protest.


	2. 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, in Dark Angel, some transgenics (it's what the people like Alec are called in the show) have a tryptophan deficiency. Their body can't produce it and the lack of it can cause seizures, so they have to take tryptophan pills. And food like milk, turkey, beans are rich with it, so that's why Alec's drinking it. I don't remember if Alec actually has that problem, but- he has it here.
> 
> I think that's it?
> 
> Let me know what you think and enjoy! :)

Star City, 2018 is… un- fucking- believable.

Alec steps out onto solid, dusty soil and breathes in a lungful of fresh air. He’s pretty sure he uses lung capacity he didn’t know he had- but then again, he’s a cat, so those are definitely not lungs he’s used to.

But the air is light and full and unpolluted. The sky is blue, with a stray cloud rolling over it here and there and the grass is actually green. It’s tripping him out. Seattle, 2020 was pretty fucked and while Alec never even heard of Star City, he doubts that any city in the USA was left intact after the Pulse hit. The electronics went haywire, digital documents got erased. The USA became a third world country in a period of a year.

He’s thrown out of the loop so much he ends up tripping over his own front legs. Luckily, he rights himself before he falls face- err, snout first on the ground.

The group chuckles.

“Looks like the little lad is a bit unsteady after the jump.” John mumbles around the cigarette in his mouth.

Oh, yeah, the jump. It’s been something else. Alec doesn’t want to think about it because his cat stomach is having mixed _felines_ about it.

He had decided that cat-related puns are as good as this situation is going to get and he plans to use them whenever he can. If nobody can understand him, then it’s their problem. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.

Most of the group scatters after that, going in their various ways. Alec can feel his curiosity eating at him, but he’s pretty sure that going exploring a new place as a cat creates a risk of being left in the new place. So he stays put.

He explores the ship, as it’s been called, instead. He sticks around the cargo bay and the kitchen the most, since that’s where Mick is whenever Alec sees him.

He stayed behind as well, claiming for wanting some _peace and goddamn quiet already_. Whenever Alec finds him, he’s either fiddling with that fire gun thingy that smells of fuel, or eating. That’s something Alec can definitely stand behind. He gives Alec a piece of whatever he’s eating at the moment when Alec finds him, which is great. He even manages to rope him into giving him more milk. He has to figure out how to get his, uh, paws on some actual pills, but until then milk is gonna do. _A lot of milk_.

“You know that milk is not good for your stomach, right?” Mick asks him as he sets the bowl on the counter. Alec jumped on it- the pros of having long ass legs- to be as much of eye level with him as possible.

“You’ve got no idea how wrong you are,” Alec meows. He supposes there are possible side effects, but he’d rather risk throwing up and having stomach ache than anticipate a seizure. He’s actually not even sure if he’s still got the tryptophan deficiency in cat form.

Well, better safe than sorry.

Mick grumbles, scratches his head and takes a beer out of the fridge.

  * ●●●●



Everyone has their own bedroom on the ship. Except for Mick- who has two.

Alec found it strange since Mick is not the CO of the unit, he doesn’t have a special position in the team, but he still has the privilege of having two rooms just for himself.

The first room is… a disaster. Alec follows Mick inside and immediately tangles his foot in a dirty sock. There are various knick-knacks all over the shelves, a punching bag, a bench press pushed against the wall. There is absolutely no any kind of order. Alec itches to alphabetize the vinyl records stacked in the corner and few books thrown on an armchair in another. He shakes off the urge because he’s trying to get rid of those habits.

Mick sits at the desk that’s set mostly in the center of the room, and takes a cloth off a device that Alec recognizes as a typewriter. He had seen photos of those, and some of his targets had them…

He shuts down that line of thought and jumps on the armchair to curl up and take a nap.

  * ●●●●



He wakes up when Mick cracks his knuckles and stands up, rolling his shoulders. He blinks and does a full body stretch while Mick covers up the typewriter again. Alec reckons it’s to protect it from the dust.

He watches as Mick takes a sheet of paper in his hands, folds it so it fits into an envelope and then puts it into one of the drawers in the desk. He catches Alec watching him and tells him, “Don’t tell anyone about this.”

_Oh, no. And here he was planning to tell about it to everyone. He doesn’t know how he could possibly keep it to himself_. Alec tries to school his expression into a mix of deadpan and patronizing.

“Don’t worry, the cat’s got my tongue.” He meows.

Mick squints at him, “I feel like you’re mocking me.” Then he frowns at himself. “I’m talking to a cat.”

“Amazing observation skills you have there,” Alec notes sarcastically.

Mick scrunches his eyebrows, mutters, “That definitely sounded sarcastic,” and leaves the room.

Alec follows him because, hey, maybe he’s going to the kitchen again.

  * ●●●●



Mick does go to the kitchen again and Alec seriously overestimates how much he can eat as a cat.

He drapes himself over the armchair in Captain’s study/ living room while others drift in and out.

They all returned from their field trips a while back and they’re traveling again. Which is another reason why Alec should not move for an undetermined amount of time. He stretches, flexing his paws (which is so strange) and Zari, the dark-haired girl, makes a cooing noise.

She touches one of his front paws and squishes it and _no, nope, Alec does not like that_. He withdraws his legs and tries to tuck them under his body, but he’s _really_ got long legs. She takes the hint though and settles on petting his back instead. He does kinda like that.

Mick pokes his head in, “Stop bothering my cat,” he says.

Zari looks at him, her hand still smoothing over his back. “I’m not bothering him. He likes it. Also, I never imagined you as a cat person.”

Mick grunts, “Snart was allergic,” he says like it explains everything, and adds, “And why wouldn’t I be a cat person?”

Zari shrugs, “Seems like a lot of work.”

Mick looks at her, deadpan,” Cats are practically self sustainable. If this place had a mice problem, I wouldn’t even have to feed him.”

Alec is offended by the thought he’d ever eat mice. That’s gross.

Ray walks in next and ugh, this turned into a party.

“Did someone mention allergies?” He asks immediately. “Because I have Benadryl you guys can share.”

Zari frowns at him. “Don’t _you_ have cat allergies?”

Ray smiles, “Yeah, usually! But I’ve been good so far. Even with the little guy in the same room.”

“Really? No allergic reactions?”

“Nope. Weird, right?”

Maybe because Alec is not a real cat. _But who knows_.

It’s gotten a bit crowded in here, so Alec jumps down and slithers out of the room before someone else tries to touch his feet.

  * ●●●●



The dinner time comes and Alec makes it _very clear_ he’s _not eating from the floor, Sara_.

Mick sets a plate for him on the counter, ignoring Zari’s “That can’t be hygienic.”

( _Screw you, Zari, I saw you picking up that donut from the floor._ )

“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to feed adult cats with milk.” Charlie pipes up.

“Yeah? Tell him that.” Mick responds and Alec turns his best pleading look at them.

Ray crumbles immediately, Zari holds out a bit longer, Sara just sighs and goes back to eating, and Charlie and John keep looking at him suspiciously. Alec blinks just to fuck with them.

Then again, there is a possibility of them being able to figure out he’s not an actual cat and get him back to being bipedal. Though, all of them can’t seem to make heads or tails out of it for now.

  * ●●●●



The mystery of Mick’s two rooms starts to unravel that evening. The lights dim and everyone goes to their own bedroom to catch some shut eye.

Alec doesn’t sleep much, never had, but he trails after Mick and finds himself in a room that’s a complete opposite of his other room.

Nothing is out of place- there’s nothing to be out of place, in fact- and Mick toes off his boots and shoves them against the wall before throwing himself on the bed. Alec doubts he’s comfortable in jeans, but sets to inspect the new space.

It smells different, like Mick and someone else. There’s a suitcase in the corner and a sniff reveals that whatever’s in there smells like metal and fresh, cool air.

“Hey,” Mick grumbles, his face almost shoved all the way into a pillow, “leave it.”

Hm, touchy.

Alec pads to the bed and bumps his head against Mick’s fingertips, but then leaves the room because some things are just none of his business. Cat or not.


	3. 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and enjoy! :)

The nights on the Waverider- which is a pretty neat name, he admits- are interesting. It’s generally quiet after Gideon informs them midnight passed (he doesn’t even pretend to know how time works here), but there’s always someone awake.

Sara often trains (that’s always fascinating to watch- Alec can’t wait to return to human form and try some of the moves), but there has been more than one occasion when Alec found her with Ava; either video-chatting or with Ava actually being there. He and Ava got off on a wrong foot. What with her seeing him and immediately rattling off five different violations his presence brings and what with him being set on tripping her up as much as possible after that.

He never said he’s mature.

Zari plays video games. And listens to very, very loud music. Alec comes in to steal some of her snacks and ‘accidentally’ pull out the cord on her controller from time to time, but doesn’t stick around for long because the music makes him feel like his brain is vibrating inside his skull. It’s not fun.

He tries to stay out of the library. John almost exclusively spends time there. Sometimes he’s reading from one of his older than ancient, leather-bound books. Sometimes he’s drinking and just staring in space with a look that Alec hates to be able to recognize. And sometimes, more often than Alec would like, he’s doing some kind of naked yoga- and there’s only so much of _that_ that Alec needs to see.

Spending time with Ray is fun. He’s annoyingly chirpy and too good for his own wellbeing, but he’s also one of the smartest people Alec has met. And considering he grew up in Manticore, that’s says something. He’s always working on something new, or doing improvements on that weird suit of his- both of those things had led to at least two minor explosions that nobody seemed particularly surprised with (Alec is starting to get worried about their self-preservation instincts). And sometimes, he’s working on Waverider’s maintenance and Alec always likes to tag along. The ship has a lot of hidden spaces and spare rooms and you never know when something like that could be useful.

Charlie wanders around a lot. Watches movies. Sometimes shares a drink with John, or joins Zari playing video games. But mostly she walks around, lounges inside the Captain’s study and looks simultaneously angry, sad, and content. Alec thinks he understands her, from what he managed to gather about everything that’s going on here.

And Mick, well, Mick fiddles with his gun- flamethrower? Whatever it is. He’s cleaning it or taking it apart just to put it back together right afterward. He writes sometimes too; either sheets upon sheets of paper that go into one of the stacks in the binders on the shelves or only one or two sheets that end up in an envelope and put away in that one drawer he keeps under the lock and key. Sometimes, much like John, he just sits and drinks, looking at nothing with dull, distant eyes. Alec sees it as this overwhelming, numbing sadness and doesn’t understand how nobody else notices.

He also wonders what might make him feel like that. His mind jumps to the second bedroom, the emptiness of it and how Mick still chooses it over the welcoming mess that is his second room. He thinks about that suitcase and how touchy Mick is with it.

_There are some things that are just none of his business_ , he reminds himself.

Though, most of the nights he finds himself either dozing off on the sofa in Mick’s room or settling into the seat on the bridge and watching the time stream flowing and shifting in front of him.

  * ●●●●



He doesn’t get a hang on the whole time traveling thing right from the start. It’s hard to piece things together with only a quarter of information and he’s not exactly capable of asking questions at the moment. Well, he can ask, but it would bring him as much good as if he was a human meowing at everyone. _Those tricky communication barriers_.

But eventually- he’s scared to think how long he’s been there (and stuck in a cat form)- he figures it out. And then the stupid thoughts start to form in his head.

Like, if he goes back, he can change things. He can change everything.

But, first, he has to find a way how to turn into a human form again.

  * ●●●●



“You’re one unnerving little bastard, you know?” John tells him one day, pointing a finger at him while still mixing something foul smelling with his other hand.

Alec mewls at him and jumps up on the table littered with John’s books, papers, and various other trinkets. He oversteps something that looks like a dried up pepper and sits on a small stack of books.

“Sometimes,” John keeps talking, crushing a handful of leaves and throwing it in his mixing bowl- a metal, shiny thing with some sort of symbols scraped into it- along with a few drops of something clear and smelling of roses, “I get a feeling you’re not as normal as it looks.”

Alec blinks. If he can get John to get more suspicious, maybe he can get him to turn Alec back. He seems to have a knack for magic or whatever it is that turned Alec into a cat.

“At first, I thought you were a familiar,” John continues, “but we sent that old nag into hell and familiars don’t live long when separated from their masters.”

He’s speaking very matter-of-factly, like he’s been doing it for a long time. It sounds like he’s discussing the weather.

Alec flicks his tail. _Masters_. The last people that tried to control him didn’t end up too well. But in one way the sentence still reminds him of the others. Those that didn’t know what to do when their little world of orders and rules came crashing down. They couldn’t adapt fast enough, well enough and they got caught up in another of Manticore’s messes- they just couldn’t clean this one.

“Still,” John shakes a finger at him, “there’s something about you that’s bugging me.”

_Yes, maybe the fact that I’m not an actual goddamn cat_.

John chuckles then, tension leaving him, “But I am a paranoid old bastard, so what do I know?”

If Alec could, he’d facepalm himself right now.

  * ●●●●



Ray was writing out an equation on one of his whiteboards when Zari called him to help her with something. He leaves the room with spring in his step- as usual- and leaves Alec alone. And the marker open.

Alec gets an idea.

And then realizes how hard it is to write with your mouth.

He spends a minute contemplating what exactly should he write; ‘ _Help, I’m stuck in a cat body!’_ , ‘ _I’m not an actual cat!’_ , or ‘ _You jerks stop throwing food on the floor and expect me to eat it!’._

He settles on spelling ‘ALEC’ because he’s not delusional enough to think he can manage more than one word.

He’s just finishing the C when Ray returns and scoops him up. Alec yelps, dropping the marker and tries to scramble back to the floor before Ray stands straight and brings him to another altitude.

“What are you doing? You silly cat?” Ray coos at him. Then looks at what Alec wrote- okay, tried to write, his letters are a bit… bumpy- and grins. “Aw! Are you trying to help me? That’s adorable.” He says and wipes off his name.

Alec yelps again.

_No! Ray, you dumb genius._

  * ●●●●



Alec admits to himself that he’s stuck on a time ship with a bunch of most oblivious paranoid, smart people that he has ever encountered and that he’ll probably spend the rest of his life drinking milk from a bowl. Which is not ideal, but he tries to console himself that he might have ended up as a shark. Sharks can’t watch TV and that would have sucked.

He sprawls over the desk in the Captain’s study- Sara once accidentally stepped on his tail while he was lying on the floor and he’s not taking that risk again- while Mick watches a game and steals a cracker from the bowl whenever he can.

He mulls over his options. So John and Ray are out of the count. John is so paranoid that the paranoia apparently crosses itself out and Ray is just too much himself. Alec literally spelled it out for him and it still didn’t work.

He thinks Zari is too skeptic. And Charlie would probably dismiss him- as much as Alec managed to gather, she used to shapeshift, but now she can’t do it anymore. If shapeshift means what Alec thinks it means, she’s his best shot; she’ll think he’s like her. But, if she didn’t notice it from the start, she’ll probably think it’s not possible.

Ugh, his head hurts.

He’s still trying to form a plan how to get Sara to figure it out and Mick- well, Mick doesn’t seem to care about anything really. Alec honestly doubts he’d pay any attention to him.

He huffs sadly and Mick’s gloved hand comes up to scratch his head even though his eyes don’t leave the screen.

  * ●●●●



He tries the ‘spelling his name’ thing on Zari’s laptop and she shoos him away. She thinks he sat on the keyboard.

_Humans_.

  * ●●●●



He trails after Charlie for a whole day. Goes as far as tugging her bootlaces free when she sprawls over the sofa and finding the movie she was looking for. Nothing.

  * ●●●●



He tries the same thing with Sara. He tries to act as human as possible, opening doors and shit, trying to respond to whatever she says, but apparently, that just makes him “ _hecking adorable_ ”. Whatever that means.

  * ●●●●



He camps on Mick’s writing desk (he calls it that because that’s literally all that he does there) and waits for his opportunity.

He can’t just start typing while Mick’s in the middle of a sentence- he wants to go back to being bipedal, not dead- and surprisingly, Mick types pretty fast when he gets going. So he doesn’t really get a chance between Mick finishing with one sheet of paper, putting in a new one and starting to write again. It’s as frustrating as not a lot of things is. 

Eventually, Alec just calls it quits and resolves to just watch him. He’s deep in thought, and it looks like he’s writing a letter to someone. It’s a retelling of his day; little things, important things, more words than Alec heard from him since they met. He tries not to pry too much; it’s one thing when people know he’s human and he has to be sneaky about it, and completely different when he’s a cat. It feels dirty, like he’s taking advantage in the worst way possible.

Still, he catches a bit of the last paragraph. “ _I know you’re still dead, but you better get back soon ‘cause I’m running out of space for these fucking letters._ ”

It’s a weird sentence, just another unconnected dot for Alec, but he doesn’t think about it too much as he reads the last thing Mick writes.

“ _P.S. the Cat is still weird_.”

Oh, so apparently his name is Cat. Very creative, he must say. And also, looks like Mick does care enough to notice, but not enough to investigate further. How nice.

Alec is so done with these idiots.


	4. 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: no animal was harmed here, it was a magical being (think Salem from the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina- just evil) 
> 
> Let me know what you think and enjoy! :)

He had started to appreciate his life on the Waverider, he admits. It’s nice to not have to worry about getting attacked, or tortured, or murdered- or all of it- at any moment. It’s nice to have some peace and quiet. A moment to take a nap and sun bask.

At least he thought so.

From what he figured, the Legends- the jury’s still out on whether that’s an actual name of their group or a nickname of sorts- are some kind of time cops. He thinks. And they just catch the bad guys… that happen to be magical in some way. It’s still a bit confusing, okay?

But, anyways, the Legends were on a mission. Alec skips some of them because going out every time is just a disaster waiting to happen. AKA, there’s a mission that has an “Alec stays stranded in the Dark Ages” written on it and he’s not gonna be one of those cats that spread the Plague, thank you very much. Not to mention the hygiene and the food and, _ugh, everything_. 

So he stayed behind, napped, took a stroll around the ship and was ready for his dose of milk when the Legends returned. They had a cat with them.

“Are you sure familiars can’t get fleas?” Zari asked doubtfully, looking at the cat in the cage like she contemplates throwing it out.

The cat in question is a normal house cat. A dark tabby with yellow eyes, hissing at everyone. Alec grumbles with distaste and shakes himself to get rid of the shivers its presence caused.

It mewls, a rough, choking sound that sets Alec’s, well, canines on edge.

“Damn sure, love. It’s a magical being; it can’t be affected, or in this case, infected by our world’s diseases.” John reassures her.

That’s nice. Alec’s gonna go somewhere far away from it.

He starts for the hallway when the cat goes nuts, shaking the cage and, suddenly, it’s not a cat anymore. It turns into a mouse and slithers between the bars just to turn into a goddamn Rottweiler as soon as it hits the ground. Alec stares at it for a moment and then- because dogs didn’t exactly love him while he was human and now he’s a _cat_ \- he runs.

There are various cries of surprise and fear and one rude, “Well, that’s the last we’ll see of him,”- _fuck you, John_ \- but he doesn’t pay much attention to them.

He zips through the hallway like a cheetah, followed by barking and a mad fucking Rottweiler, his small cat heart hammering because _he’s gonna be so pissed if he gets eaten by a fairy fucking dog_.

He runs into the library and hops onto the table and when the dog tries to follow him, he jumps on one of the bookshelves, back towards the door to close them and then out through the other set of the doors. He’s not quick enough to close those as well, unfortunately, and takes off again with an internal swear.

He returns to the bridge- greeted by more noises of surprise- skips over the controlling panel and then takes off towards the cargo bay. He can hear the dog running after him- barely, the barking is really loud- and the Legends following, probably interested in how this is going to end.

Fuckers, he’d appreciate some help and not only audience.

He storms down the stairs and jumps on the stack of metal cases to save himself from almost certain death. The dog keeps growling and barking at him, and if Alec doesn’t do something soon, he’s gonna climb up as well and then Alec is dog chow.

He slinks behind the case on the top and he knows he’s, well, tiny compared to it, but if he’s anything then it’s determined, so he shoves. The case budges, but just a little and he shoves it two more times before it’s almost enough to tip it over. The dog keeps snapping its jaws at him and the Legends come in just in time for him to shove the case one last time and see it come down on the dog with a loud thud and a crack.

They stare.

“Well, shit,” Mick says to break the silence and their eyes come up to look at Alec, who’s still sitting on the stack and flicking his tail.

“Mick, I think your cat just killed that familiar,” Ray points out the obvious.

The fucker had it coming; he almost bit Alec’s tail off.

“Were you training him?” Zari asks.

“More importantly,” Sara adds teasingly, “should we be worried?”

Mick gives them both a look, “Yeah, ‘cause if I decide to kill you, I’ll send my cat to do it.”

Sara holds up her hands, “I was just joking.”

Jokes on all of them, Alec could probably do it. After all, _none of them can fucking figure out he’s not a real cat_.

  * ●●●●



Mick writes another letter that night.

“So the Cat popped the evil witch’s dog today,” he types out, then lifts his eyes to glance at Alec, lying behind his typewriter. “I think the Cat is a bit homicidal,” he adds.

Alec gives him an unimpressed look, but Mick’s already engrossed in his writing again.

_If you were stuck being quadrupedal, you’d be homicidal too_.

  * ●●●●



After his close encounter with death, Alec gets a short break manifested in a form of hiding in an absolute mound of blankets he finds in the closet in Mick’s mostly-empty room. He’s warm, comfortably toasty, and nestled in when Gideon sounds some kind of alarm.

He hears Mick groaning, swearing at being awakened like that, but still getting up, pulling on his boots, and stomping out. Alec considers following him, but- _he doesn’t want to_.

So he waits for either Mick to return, or someone else to go find him. If he stays away for a longer period of time, he found out, someone inevitably comes to find him with a promise of snacks and some milk.

But, this time, he waits, and he waits, and nobody comes. It’s weird.

So, with a put-upon sigh, he shimmies out of his hide and goes to see where’s the holdup.

He stops at the entrance to the bridge and considers just jumping out into the time stream because if his fate is to be stuck with this dumpster on fire of a team, then he’s destined to die very, very soon.

Everyone’s shouting; Charlie and Zari are in each other’s faces and Mick is, in fact, strangling John. Ray looks scared and confused and Sara looks like she’s moments away from ending all of them and then herself.

He wonders how long he’d live as a cat. Did he already surpass his cat lifespan or did his cat lifespan just start when he got turned into a cat?

What are they even fighting about?

Alec’s ears are ringing with all the voices yelling and overlapping, and he grumbles before going back to his hideout.

  * ●●●●



The next time he ventures out, things are considerably more peaceful.

Legends are sitting on the steps in front of the Captain’s study while Sara paces in front of them like a disappointed parent.

“Now that we’re all acting like adults,” she starts, sending a meaningful glance at Mick and John who are looking fairly scuffed at the moment, “let’s make a plan how to proceed.”

Mick’s spine straightens and he looks at her sharply, “Plan? I’ll give you a plan. Let’s go get him,” he says forcefully.

Sara lifts her hands I placating manner, “And we will. But we can’t rush into it like headless chickens.”

“Why not? It’s straightforward, clean-cut job.”

“Because it’s Snart,” Ray says like it’s obvious and explains everything.

Mick glares at him and Ray shrinks under its force.

Alec has absolutely no idea what they’re talking about. He sits next to Zari and accepts the absent back petting.

“Ray is right, Mick. You’re his partner, you know how paranoid he is,” Sara responds.

Mick grunts, but doesn’t disagree.

Oh, so they’re going to retrieve a missing member of their team. That is extremely nice and humane- and also very dumb. What if the member got recruited? What if he became a double agent?

Manticore wouldn’t even consider taking someone back. If they get separated on the field, they either find a way to their unit before the unit returns to the HQ, or they, well, die. It’s very dry cut for them.

Though, it’s not like Alec can exactly voice his suspicions.

  * ●●●●



He tags along to the next mission. They’re in Chicago, 1890, before Al Capone and all that shit. The time period and place itself has a certain appeal to it, Alec thinks. It’s definitely nicer than his 2020 Seattle. Less pollution, more… everything else. More life.

Honestly, whoever this Snart guy is, he’s got it good here. Alec is not exactly sure how he got ‘time’ displaced, but he can be lucky to not have ended up in Paleolithic era because, by the sounds of it, it was a possible outcome.

They go out in teams, Charlie and Ray, Zari and Mick, Sara and John. Alec tags along with Mick and Zari and doesn’t exactly understand why they’re currently running.

Mick saw something, apparently, and- as expected- decided to rush head-on, without a moment to come up with a plan. Alec doesn’t get how he’s still alive. Zari doesn’t approve either, yelling after him, but then gives up and takes off as well. Alec follows because he wasn’t joking about not wanting to be stranded in history.

There are three more guys with them when Alec catches up with them in a dead-end alley. There was apparently a fight and two of them are down, while the third one is picking himself up, half concealed in the darkness and behind one of the wooden crates.

“Snart?” Mick calls out.

The figure in the dark stops in their movements, and then- “Mick?”

It’s like strings snapping on a puppet. Mick leans down on his knees and blows out a breath. “No, your deceased great-aunt. Yeah, it’s me.” He grumbles.

The figure steps out into the light. His eyes are trained on Mick, gun held limply by his side, in his right hand.

“You’re Leonard Snart?” Zari asks into the silence.

Snart- presumably- nods, tearing his eyes away from Mick. “Took you people long enough,” he snarks.

“And here I thought we’re 128 years early,” Mick responds with a grin.


End file.
